January 7, 2015

My sweet boy,

We were requested by your religion instructors to write a “love” letter to you to be read at your retreat. So, without hesitation and with a mother’s heart, I will do so.

Your life is my life. Your dreams are my dreams. Your pain; your sorrow; your disappointments are mine. I feel them as much as any mother can feel for their child. And it may be trite and over-used, but the truth is that you will always be my little boy – even when you are old and gray – or old and bald! Even when I have left this earth, my love for you will forever embrace you. You are mine, regardless of the circumstances of your birth.

Let me begin, at the risk of being verbose (google it!), at the beginning. You manifested yourself first as a “wish”; a birthday candle blown out by your sister and wish she held tight to for probably a decade of birthday candles. For your dad and me, you were a promise and a hope left unfulfilled for years until the promise no longer existed, and the hope only a faded desire. But, proving that God has a plan for even those who have given up, he put all the elements in place, all the people in place, and aligned the universe just right, and you were presented to us as a most precious gift – an unexpected miracle that would complete our lives and fill an emptiness.

As you complete your religious study, albeit a little less exciting than you might want, there is only one thing I ask of you. I don’t care so much that you memorize the seven deadly sins, the Holy days of obligation, the rosary, the prayers, the sacraments, or the names of the Patron Saints. I only ask that you honor, love and put your soul’s faith in God, and that you serve your fellow man as an example of what is good, kind and gentle. At the end of your life, you should be able to look at all of the trials and all of the achievements that have made up a full life and realize that at every turn, and embedded within each event, God’s love was at the center, comforting you, lifting you up, guiding you and lighting the way. This is my ultimate wish for you, my sweet boy. Go on your journey, knowing you are loved, and loving others along your path.

A word about your talent. Some talents are not so obvious, but yours most definitely is, and while I press you on utilizing your musical talent, I know that the decision is ultimately yours to make. But, I believe very strongly that God doesn’t give out “big” bodacious talent for one to waste, so keep in mind that His plan for you might include your vocal abilities, even if not for your life’s work, but for the enjoyment and comfort your gift of song might give others who need lifting up or whose own personal circumstance requires that particular kind of gift to enrich their own journey. Don’t hide your talent “under a bushel”. Be proud and happy to bestow that gift upon others – not for your glory, but for God’s, and for those who find comfort and enjoyment out of your unselfish giving.

I loved you the first time I saw you and I have loved you ever since, and will love you “a jacket full” for eternity.

Mom