July 18, 2022

The initial attraction? He was funny – a comedian. He could make me laugh with his self-deprecating stories where he was the eager-to-impress, wanna-be cool dude, vying for the girl. Always coming off in the end as the demoralized Jerry-Lewis-type goofball. These stories became legendary; requested at parties and dinners with friends. “Tell the one about the elevator”, “tell the one about skidding on your knees in front of LaBiches’ on Baronne”.

They would turn to me and say, “Is he this funny all the time?” “Your life must be one hilarious moment after another!”

The answer is no, he isn’t always funny. No, my life has not been one hilarious moment after another. Life has been unpredictable, scary, confusing, full of doubt, anxiety, but always held together by love, devotion, perseverance and patience.

Our marriage transitions from tested and tried, to shaken, strong and durable. It’s been worn, washed, hung up to dry, patched, repaired and at times, thread-bare. He’s been the worn out, but warm blanket, the new penny, the old comfortable shoe, the sturdy oak, and the vulnerable broken rose.

Forty years ago he was more in love with me than I was with him. He moved faster than I was ready for. He pronounced his love for me to my parents – before I was ready, even before I had told him that I loved him. But, he waited until I caught up. He did not give up on me, on my love, on our future.

We married in July of 1982, and together, we navigated the path that brought us a baby girl in August of 1983, clinging to life, frail and tethered to heaven’s gate while doctors, nurses, and surgeons “fixed” her. We found strength in what we became together – a unified force to face the years of surgeries and hospitals, the miles of travel, the many obstacles.

Together, we nurtured another dream. We added a baby boy in March of 1998, and were given the unimaginable privilege of loving him, witnessing his growth, his talent, and his sensitive heart.

Forty years ago, we would never have imagined the heartaches and challenges, but we would never have imagined the joy and blessings, either. I’m glad he was patient. Glad he saw something in me – in us - that would withstand the test of time. Our marriage, once a jagged rock, is smoothed and polished by the years of testing, the decades of weathering by the elements of time and trial.

Forty years on July 24!  Happy Anniversary to my rock!