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June 29, 2021 - The Journey Begins

An ongoing series of thoughts about an unexpected journey


We had planned for six months, and looked forward to a trip to Disney World with the family. From December 2020 until June 4, 2021, the whole family was focused on this once-in-a-lifetime trip. Sometime during this period of time, Ed had gone to Dr. Elliott’s for a routine visit, and mentioned to him that he was having these chronic episodes where swallowing was difficult. Dr. Elliott referred him to Dr. Scott Boagni to see what, if anything was amiss, and if it could be fixed.

On, or about May 26, 2021 Ed met with Dr. Boagni, and an appointment was made for a esophagoscopy procedure – an out-patient situation. During the visit, Dr. Boagni asked if Ed had ever had a colonoscopy done. Ed said he had not, so the doctor asked if he could perform this while he had him anethesisized. Ed agreed.

We went on our Disney trip from June 8-12. Ed’s surgery was scheduled for Monday, June 14. All went well with the esophagus and the problem there was more-or-less corrected. Ed described it: The doc hammered out esophagus, widening it so fast moving food (he eats fast!) could go down more easily. However, the doctor came in with some concern about the colon. This began our journey.

June 19 – An appointment with Dr. Amy, who wanted to do more tests.

Friday, July 2 – A CT Scan was done.

Wednesday, July 14 – A PET scan was done that could give us undeniable and an official diagnosis that there was cancer in the colon that had spread to the liver, and a small area of the right lung.

Thursday, July 15 – We went back to Dr. Amy to discuss the situation, and his recommendations. It was felt that surgery at this time was ill-advised because of the spread, but that Chemotherapy should be used first to shrink the cancer. An appointment was made to see the oncologist, Dr. Juan Posada.

Now, both feet were on this strange and twisting path. A harsh reality emerged. Right on the cusp of our 39th wedding anniversary. We needed to get away, go somewhere away from the worries, and find a peaceful and tranquil place to celebrate our love. We went to Ed’s Paran (Godfather) Bob’s place in Gulfport, MS. Bob treated us to the most amazing dinner and provided us with the most incredible space. That night at dinner, Ed told him about the cancer.

Since this whole thing happened, I worried that I had not had a colonoscopy, and should get one. So, I have scheduled my own on August 16. I pray that nothing shows up. I don’t know how we could manage if I am found to have cancer, as well!

Wednesday, July 27 – Ed and I visit with Dr. Posada who helps us formulate the plan for chemo. He will start treatments on Monday, August 2, using a combination of infusions and oral medication.

There was some debate after the colonoscopy whether to tell our children or not. Ed’s first thought was not to tell them until we were absolutely sure. But, I wanted them to be informed that there was a chance. We told them. James was so upset that he left work. Emily met him at his house to lend support and comfort. I don’t know what all was said, or how together they shared their feelings. I’m only focused on Ed at the moment, and each of us must own our own reactions and emotions, as we each handle situations differently. Emily and James feel compelled to inform Phil and Susan. I have mixed feelings on that, and Ed states that any reconciliation based on pity and sympathy would be almost too little, too late. He has reached out to them on several occasions to no avail.

James does not like conflict or controversy. He avoids it if he can, and taps down his emotions and feelings. He is very sensitive, thoughtful, and approaches life without any visible emotions – does not lean on faith or spiritual guidance, and does not seek any divine intervention. I am saddened by this because faith and connection to a higher power had clearly steered us through many difficult times.

Emily is confident, bossy, organized in her thoughts and in her life. She is the rock and the planner, always has everything lined up – for the twins, for Jeremy, and now attempting to be that for us! But, her focus on reality and pre-planning actually wears me down at times. It pulls on my generally optimistic attitude when I most rely on said attitude to move me forward. I see my young self in her – ever vigilant, informed, and organized when it came to her care. Somehow I managed to tap down the panic, anxiety and fear while carrying out a well-prepared plan. Give me a quiet corner afterwards to melt down into tears. She and I just need to get ourselves synchronized to each other’s frames of mind.

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